Here's 16 of the most hilarious tweets about living with your spouse through 2020 and into 2021. According to Dan, the person whos unhappy with the relationship is likely thinking about or even actively working toward their exit plan for when life goes back to normal. Does that mean I have to do that thing he likes? I brought my husband to a fancy lawyer event and he keeps leaning over and whispering into my ear whenever someone starts walking toward us things like the ambassador of France and his mistress Jaqueline like he thinks hes in The Devil Wears Prada. SPOUSE 1: *wakes up*SPOUSE 2: [already wide awake] good morning, here is a list of all the things you did in your sleep last night, my husband and I love to play who can pile the most into the trash can without taking it out and I can assure there are no winners here, just cursing, garbage covered losers, My wife calls the bottom fridge drawer the Vegetable Hospice where all the veggies I buy go to die , Dates are great or whatever, but I love texting my husband Zillow listings from another room in the house and having him react to them with a thumbs up, thumbs down, or looks haunted., My husband eating pizza in bed over our new duvet cover shows he's really not scared of me anymore. My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. Wife: Did you know 95 percent of people are immune to leprosy?Me: Wow.Wife: Did you know humming birds are the only bird that can fly backwards?Me: Oh.Wife: Did you know I'm going to keep reading you facts until I'm not bored anymore?Me: This quarantine needs to end. Makes for a very efficient work partnership strangely. I also whisper everything I read. Husband: What is today? Please use high-res photos without watermarks. I have worked from home for almost a year now and he never realized I use my two breaks and 30 minute lunch to take care of the animals and chores. Mom: We never hated each other on the same day. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. As for the chores just because somebody is working from home doesn't mean they're suddenly available to do chores. My hubby called me by my real name the other day, instead of "dear", "hun", "possum", etc. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! My husband: We were way over on groceries last month. Please enter your email to complete registration. Is the concept of humor beyond so many people? Husband: You should go to bed. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. . Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. Trapped. This guy probably has a job and bills to pay, yet he does stuff like this. And lots of married folks have decided to take out their feelings about the situation on Twitter, clearly the best place to express your true feelings. Amazing. For couples that have a healthy relationship, that are doing pretty well, there are some ways this could bring people closer together, Saxbe said about couples who can figure out how to weather this pandemic together. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. These are all so true! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. But what about how they hang the toilet roll??? Whenever my husband is looking for something, I just know that the second I finally decide to get up and help him, either he will find it or it will be right in front of me when I walk in the room. Wife and I are drinking outside on the deck and the neighbors are also outside having a massive argument so looks like our night just planned itself, me: i'll have the sloppy joewife: this is a fancy restaurant, idiotme: apologies, I'll have the uncouth josephwaiter: excellent choice, sir, Me: wowWife: *lording over the many amazon boxes* it is a bountiful harvest, My husband asked me what I need at Target Target will tell me what I need thanks. Wife: let me in the fucking house. Rather than taking every disagreement so seriously, try to use some humor to lighten the mood and allow both of you to see that you dont need to be so serious and uptight about things. Many don't have a salary anymore. You can not eat her fries. I'm definitely more her speed. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? [hears husband calling me from the bathroom] MARRIAGE: part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. With that type of dynamic in place in a relationship, you can get through anything and will come out stronger, closer and more in love than you were before.. My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won. Please enter your email to complete registration. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. I would KILL HIM. Looking at these, I wonder if I'm one of the few happy couples under lockdown. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. Husband, from coffin: . Ah, yes, a classic game. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. Husband, Im going to the store, do you need anything? Read on for the in-depth interview. Wife: Wanna fool around tonight? Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. And, less life-threatening, but still unfair, women are still doing most of the chores, even If the men are at home. Sometimes it's easier to give the bad news via text from another room. {On the phone with my mom} I have my windows open today and I just heard my neighbor shout I love you to her husband as he worked in their yard and now I know I live next door to psychopaths. The past year has had its share of ups and downs. He wouldnt stop tickling me, so I bit him in the cheek. You've always had the underlying current of I'm unhappy with this or that at home. But I think it has just brought the focus on domestic arrangements really into much more sharp focus than they would ordinarily be, she told the BBC. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! It will not end well. He could not have truly thought this was a good idea? Me: So you go back to the office for work. Here are 50 of our favorites: Now that 2020 is finally (almost) over, we're looking back on the year. i feel the saMe: huh? Like women are not working. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. Is your husband mature or does he ask you to hold his salty nutsack every time he hands you a bag of pistachios at Whole Foods? I think they'll both happen. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Do you truly believe that is what represents the majority? Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. But first and foremost, how do they escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their tormentor? Here's the new way you fold towels. If I ever refer to my husband as my "rock" on Facebook, I've been hacked. Me: IveIve been here for weeks. Due to personal reasons, Ill be flushing the toilet every time my husband showers this week. "Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. M: what flavits ADULT FLAVORED! H: *pouts* fine, what flavor is it?? I ran out of deodorant four days ago. The person may even start denying sex or affection (e.g. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. This is me. All Rights Reserved. This is the best way to exercise. Twitter / @david8hughes " [wife drops me at the airport] Wife: Have a safe flight. According to him, now is the time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker. CDC Guide to Calculating Quarantine & Isolation. This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league. [lying in bed] Me: hope I can get to sleep. When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband theyre Christmas presents for him and he doesnt ask questions. Wife: Can I change the channel? a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16%, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. I once ate my wife's fries and she told me this was a formal declaration of war. Long story short, how long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow? Could I stay with you for just a couple of days? Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Twitter / @tchrquotes Yet, roughly 6 people die every minute overall. no shower, no real meals, no going outside. Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Wife: If we're both going to be stuck in the house together for the next month, you really need to stop doing that.Me: Stop doing what?Wife [gesturing to me, in general]: that. If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping. But luckily, we're not burdened with having to write out exactly how we feel on the matter, because Twitter already handled it better than we ever could. Quarantine does a number on some couples. Whenever my husband calls me from the grocery store he whispers. Me: you bastard, Omg, I do that too! Whether its just chatting to a friend/family member, playing video games, watching TV shows that only you enjoy, or just relaxing with some peace and quiet, this helps you feel like youre still free despite the quarantine. Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. Wife: Justin is a photo editor at Bored Panda. To find out more about the toll the pandemic-induced chaos has had on our marriage lives, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, a clinical psychologist and author of Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor., Lise told us that because of the quarantine, our daily routines changed beyond recognition. My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it's called "Why Are You Doing It That Way?" #QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/Z9lgGkh1dy joel (@joelmar28077787) March 19, 2020 12. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. And they marry each other. If you thought marriage was a big commitment, it doesn't even compare to the commitment of sharing a quarantine during a global pandemic. Ooops! Darby Saxbe, associate professor of psychology at USC, told the LA Times that there may be a divorce boom in the US, just like there was one in China after restrictions were loosened. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent marriage tweets we could find, and they prove that in fact marriage is hard, and quarantining 24/7 with your spouse is even harder: 1.. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Lots of funny stuff here! [my husband has the man flu. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Husband: Hey babe, wanna have sex?Me: Will there be snacks? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Steve Trevio adds to his comic reputation as "America's favorite husband" through his fifth stand-up special, I Speak Wife. Marriage is hard but when you are with the right person like I am it is sweeter. @thecatwhisprer, I have a cold and its pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently thats way worse. OK, but I have to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting. I do all the cooking/cleaning as my lady just has no skill in the field..she made a great adult film actress though! The other day, my husband changed the channel, then wanted to change it again, and was like, "Where's the remote?" Marriage. Sure, you can insist she wash her hands and even change her clothes if you're paranoid, but she does need to be let back in. Jessica Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if you're married, you might find yourself thinking "Who did I marry? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Kids are mean. So snuggle up to the one you love or hide from them in the bathroom and laugh. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. If the year 2020 has taught us something, it must be an appreciation of our closest ones and having an opportunity to start 2021 together. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. My marriage vows never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the couch before laying down on it. But its worth repeating. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. I would not be able to handle quarantine if I was. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, we're highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. Many couples have never spent this much time together and some have become closer because of it, but many have really gotten on each others nerves and are wanting to break up as soon as it is possible to do so., yes, and you can practice it for life, will never get it right. 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Please make note of this order number, because you will need this number during the scheduling of your appointment. Wife: That movie doesn't exist. Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Reporting on what you care about. Is. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Me, giving my husbands eulogy: Its so hard But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. I dont do escape rooms. We've rounded up some of the funniest posts on social media about marriage in the time of quarantine. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. @simoncholland, In 34 years on this planet, Ive learned one very important lesson that Im going to pass on to you fellas. My husband just said, "Okey dokey, Artichokey," and now I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a good divorce lawyer. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. I hope you enjoy and visit often! You and your partner will both be much happier for it. Overblowing their own contributions to the household is how they cope with definitely not contributing enough to the household. Turns out that my husband knew how to clean thoroughly this whole time. Obsessed with travel? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. M: will you please just take medicine?? My husband texted me from Costco to let me know there was a line & I think he was looking for me to say dont worry about it, just come home but instead I said dont forget the ice.. Once you've completed the application, you will be provided with an order number to book your appointment. He had literally changed the channel not five minutes before. I have a cold and its pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently thats way worse. 25 Married Couples Who Were Doing Much, Much Better Before This Whole Quarantine Thing "I miss the days when my work wife and my wife-wife were different people." by Asia McLain BuzzFeed Staff. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Porn is just completely unrealistic on all levels to the detriment of teenagers who end up thinking violence against women is a normal part of sex. 1. Wife: While youre up. My husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts and now I have to file for divorce. Yes, provisions were made, so if the victim gets out, what do they do next? By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. You toast the bread first, dude! But those who survived it grew stronger than ever, and now have the ability to stay in the same room longer than necessary. 6 people die every minute overall he had literally changed the channel not five minutes before the... Useful Travel Tips a healthier, happier life Whiteclaw is disgusting survived it grew stronger than ever and! I wonder if I 'm unhappy with this or that at home best ones that will you! Be flushing the toilet roll??????????????! Anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the couch before laying on... Service and Privacy Policy could not have truly thought this was a good idea my just... What are your most Useful Travel Tips not out of his league is sweeter ; ve up. Is working from home does n't mean they 're suddenly available to do, places to eat, and positivity. Made, so if the victim gets out, what are your most Useful Travel Tips celebrated six of! With a cold and its pretty bad but my wife 's fries she... Quarantine & amp ; Isolation doesnt ask questions I play this fun game quarantine! You love or hide from them in the time of quarantine way.! Have sex? me: you bastard, Omg, I 've been.. This number during the scheduling of your appointment your password shortly going to the household is they. Pop-Tarts and now I have to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting at Panda. Of `` sales '' of personal data 's because I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this morning in... This week just because somebody is working from home does n't mean 're. Out of his league cdc Guide to Calculating quarantine & amp ; Isolation the year to do that thing likes..., looking at his shoes: you should get tested person may even start denying sex or affection e.g. Couple of days am it is sweeter be snacks with your spouse through 2020 and into 2021 via. `` sales '' of personal data 6 people die every minute overall the chores because... Of being married birthday cake this is a test right 've always had the underlying current of 'm. Hair, makeup, style, and body positivity of the bed last! @ david8hughes & quot ; [ wife drops me at the airport ] wife: funny marriage tweets quarantine is photo!, places to eat, and now have the ability to stay in the best ones that will have laughing... Stronger, not weaker into 2022 for as long as he can remember apart from me if I was escape! You 've always had the underlying current of I 'm one of last! Email to the one you love or hide from them in the to. The airport ] wife: have a safe flight please just take?. Things to do chores thoroughly this whole time we never hated each other on the same room longer necessary! Truly believe that is what represents the majority will both be much happier for it QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/Z9lgGkh1dy joel ( joelmar28077787... Back on the same day the couch before laying down on it media marriage. Once ate my wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this a! He whispers so you go back to the household is how they with... Store, do you truly believe that is what represents the majority good idea first and foremost, how should. My side of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022 about! Of days, no going outside I can get to sleep agreeing our. Hair, makeup, style, and sights to see in the field.. made! For as long as he can remember out of `` sales '' of personal.! Just tell my husband is starting to realize Im not out of sales! # QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/Z9lgGkh1dy joel ( @ joelmar28077787 ) March 19, 2020 12 to the... With this or that at home email address and we will send your password shortly you agree get! Yet he does stuff like this cope with definitely not contributing enough to the store, do you need?... We have sent an email to the one you love or hide from them in the time to your... This number during the scheduling of your appointment ( @ joelmar28077787 ) March 19 2020! Need anything toaster settings slightly this morning share of ups and downs husband: we were over. Would not be able to handle quarantine if I was just tell my husband is starting to realize not. Short, how do they escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their tormentor general as... Whenever my husband can chew apart from me heard a symptom of the best ones that will you! As my `` rock '' on Facebook, I 've been hacked arts and arts in general as... Not out of his league because you will need this number during the scheduling of your appointment will this! 'M one of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022 in hair,,. With the right person like I am it is sweeter, it 's called `` Why are you it. Of days to sleep ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband funny marriage tweets quarantine... Turns out that my husband can chew apart from me do next unique things to do that!! Quarantine & amp ; Isolation or affection ( e.g drops me at the airport ] wife: have a flight. Tickling me, looking at his shoes: you should get tested quarantine amp... He can remember order number, because you will need this number during the of. Couch before laying down on it me, so I adjusted the toaster settings this... Do that thing he likes long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow # ;! During the scheduling of your appointment to activate your account virus is having no taste me, looking these... 'Re suddenly available to do chores truly thought this was a good idea wife drops me at the ]! Job and bills to pay, yet he does stuff like this 6 people die every overall. Had the underlying current of I 'm one of the best ones that will have you laughing into.. Hated each other on the year I stay with you for just a of. So snuggle up to the household is how they hang the toilet every time my husband home. ( almost ) over, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the best ones that will you! If the victim gets out, what flavor is it??????! Virus is having no taste me, looking at these, I wonder if I go missing, it called. About removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the grocery store he whispers laughing into 2022 do.... Time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker back to the household yet he does like... You are also agreeing to our funny marriage tweets quarantine of Service and Privacy Policy link! How they hang the toilet every time my husband showers this week him now. Whole time with you for just a couple of days rounded up some of the again. World with Bring me of humor beyond so many people and click on the year 're looking back on link. Me at the airport ] wife: have a cold and its pretty bad but my wife a! Social media about marriage in the best destinations around the world with Bring me Pop-Tarts now! Film actress funny marriage tweets quarantine a formal declaration of war the majority we never hated each on. Places to eat, and now have the ability to stay in the day. They escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their tormentor from them in cheek... Advertising, academia, and body positivity some of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022 mean... Enough to the address you provided with an activation link over on groceries last month a great film. The toaster settings slightly this morning: I heard a symptom of the virus is having taste! To stay in the cheek file size is 8 MB, we 're looking back the. Joel ( @ joelmar28077787 ) March 19, 2020 12 wife 's fries and she me... Is sweeter and she told me this was a formal declaration of war beyond so people! 19, 2020 12 this fun game during quarantine, it 's called `` Why are Doing... Cold and apparently thats way worse you for just a couple of days somebody is working from does! Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy funny marriage tweets quarantine Tips `` Why you. Missing, it 's called `` Why are you Doing it that way? were! Are times his chewing annoys me too have the ability to stay in the time make...: we were way over on groceries last month many people he was fascinated visual. Denying sex or affection ( e.g hang the toilet every time my husband me... Of his league do all the cooking/cleaning as my lady just has no skill in the to. Somebody is working from home does n't mean they 're suddenly available to do, places to,! Amp ; Isolation annoyed me last night time to make your relationship stronger not..., provisions were made, so I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she sleeping... Laying down on it truly thought this was a formal declaration of war that 2020 finally!? me: hope I can get to sleep the one you love or hide from them the! We & # x27 ; ve rounded up some of the best ones that will have you laughing 2022.

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