examples of condescending behavior at work

examples of condescending behavior at work

Having someone speak or behave condescendingly to you is an awful experience. Note that the behavior is acceptable in some situations and was pointed out by the manager, but it was also highlighted when it was not appropriate. Generally, the response will go along the lines of: Id love to explain this to you, but Id likely have to use really small words in order for you to understand me. But it's also important to keep in mind that studies suggest that 75 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. Do you not care? you could say, No, I heard you, I just wasnt able to get to it.. But when I made my comment, I saw him blush. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Here are some useful comebacks. Many bosses swear by this feedback method, which involves starting out with a compliment, giving a critique, and then ending with another compliment. More often than not, people will assume that unless you talk about your knowledge of a subject on the regular, you dont have a clue about it. does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace, seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional, Workplace ethical dilemma: an employee threatens to take their grievances to the media, Employee who refused a drug test at work loses unfair dismissal case, An HR guide to writing a termination letter. This is an ancient and highly transparent method for communicating superiority from a condescending coworker. 7. It's fine to be excited that you found yourself in the presence of a celebrity or powerful figure. For example, condescending people wouldn't see what they said as rude or offensive because they don't see it from other people's point of view. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. But, you're going about it all wrong. Much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often when people are interacting with one another in person. What Is Considered Condescending Behavior? MANAGER: Jane, I think it would be best if we allow Jack to finish explaining his interaction with the customer. worthy of admiration, the default assumption is that they must have had help with it. I think he was unnerved. Unprofessional behavior can include a variety of behaviors, most of which are considered improper in a professional setting. Frank Blaney. Expert Interview. Get agitated. During one-on-one with Jane MANAGER: When you interrupted Jack during his presentation, how did that affect his presentation? Still, at least now you know what to look out for. If someone says that a suggestion you have is actually a good idea, then theyre implying that everything you usually say is not. The one saying it believes that their choices are the correct ones, and they will sneer at and be condescending to everyone who doesnt share their beliefs. Here are some examples of their behavioral patterns. Smile and respond with something positive. This final example of condescending behavior is one of the worst, and also one of the most common. Level up your tech skills and stay ahead of the curve. Examples of Condescending Behavior at Work Condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude. People who go this route are often fiercely insecure, and they use their acquired knowledge base as a shield to hide behind, prop themselves up with, and injure others as needed. Still, if you've been told you have a condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue. 3. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Different interests and ways of thinking can make communication frustrating. Well, many of those people have chosen an area or subject to immerse themselves in and use this expertise as a mark of superiority. Its often done by older family members or competitive colleagues, and it involves them interrupting you when youre speaking or simply changing the subject and talking over you like you dont exist. I don't like that my relationship with Jack has suffered. Leadership behavior. Consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1. Instead of dominating a conversation by talking all the time, try to listen more to others' opinions instead. While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem personal . 8. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. Here are some suggested definitions and examples: NOTE:In most situations, these behaviors do not violate the law or most employers policies unless they are based on protected characteristics. But what they have in common is power play, with one individual exerting their authority or seniority over another. Examples Of Discrimination In Remember The Titans. So the chummy nicknames most people find condescending end up being pretty exclusionary, too. Some people you'll click with instantly, while others might rub you the wrong way. This response was given outside of direct observation of the behavior so as not to focus on Jane in front of the team. Also,be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. Saying: "You NEVER do this." "You ALWAYS do this." "I'm sorry you feel that way." "You need to calm down." "Take it easy!" (The Truth), Empaths In Relationships: 15 Tips For Happy And Healthy Love, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. True comment, they get what they deserve, Im totally in agreement. We have unskilled pencil pushers who think they are completely untouchableuntil they find out they are. By understanding the different types of workplace behaviors employees may have, managers can help their teams increase performance and complete work tasks more effectively. 1 It implies that the other person is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say. In a 2019 poll taken by Men's Health, 43 percent of respondents said that when another guy calls him "Boss," he thinks that guy is a "condescending a**hole." The thing is, you should have bought more interesting snacks. You can just learn people's actual names. Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names like chief or sweetheart, correct little mistakes, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they're overreacting when they're not. In communicating with a condescending person, try not . Furthermore, theyll assume that if you look or behave a certain way (i.e., differently than they do), then you must not have the same level of knowledge about a particular topic as they do. However, people are sometimes condescending in more subtle ways, such as talking about people behind their backs or making fun of colleagues in the form of jokes. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Cultivate a growth mindset. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. But if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either. If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you. Its a type of behaviour that cuts across generations. MANAGER: Which of the two assessments would you prefer, if you could repeat them? Take a step back to evaluate their behavior. T: "You know, S, I'm just being perfectly honest here - you aren't exactly on par with the standards of those u. One major example of the impulsiveness of youth in the play was when Romeo and Juliet got married (856-858) . When it comes to interacting with people who are providing you with a service of some kind-whether it's the custodian in your office building, a server at a restaurant, your housekeeper, or your cab driver-nicknames are especially risky. Apparently, the goal in using this approach is to make the critique a bit more gentle and less harsh, but it ends up being incredibly condescending and demeaning instead. Most women have had a man tell her to "relax" because he perceives her reaction as inappropriately emotional-when in fact, she doesn't feel she's responding emotionally at all. Condescending behavior is not illegal in and of itself. If you pat someone's head they will invariably be forced to look up at you-in confusion or possibly an attempt to displace your hand-and then you'll find yourself in the literal predicament of "looking down on them." If this is happening regularly, point it out to the person. It is important to respond in a non-emotional, neutral, matter-of-fact way. It's seen as a way of cushioning criticism. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. You don't have to give a compliment to give a critique. So when people feel like someone is talking down to them, it usually has as much to do with what they say as how they say it. Men can patronise women at work and vice versa. Ignoring the perpetrator is often the best approach. Of course, for every one of these locusts there are thousands of them that dont end up being stood up to. Just focus on being positive and relaxed. If it helps, try practicing what youre going to say in front of a mirror so you can rehearse it. But the condescending jerk at the office insists on calling them Abe and Liz. These two might object and keep reiterating that they only go by their full names, and theyll just get laughed at in response. They aren't very empathetic. MANAGER (visibly confused/taken aback): What do you mean youve been waiting? They can show up in the form of calling a co-worker sweetheart or kiddo or in over-generalizations such as youre always late. Such comments are demeaning, unpleasant to be around, and can leave coworkers feeling patronized. It's up to you whether you want to apologize to Jack, but it sounds like an apology would help smooth things over with him. Women are interrupted more than men, by both men and women . Going to HR may seem extreme, but if youve tried everything else, it may be your only option. Most condescending behaviors can be handled with direct professional communication. Interruption/talking over another. 9. You can't help but feel like they're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish. What starts as a simple chat can manifest into dishonourable behaviour when left to linger. When you make broad generalizations about someone else's behavior, that's a condescending way to make them feel judged and misunderstood. Most people who behave this way toward others are incredibly insecure. If your boss sends you an email that says, I need this now not later this week it really could just be that theyre in a rush and just need something quickly. 1. If you dont give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have irritated you, they might simply stop being condescending. The employee who cuts you or their co-workers off. "Even 10- and 15-year-olds know it doesn't feel good when someone is texting when they're talking to them." 9. Like so many things in life, the context is all-important. JANE: He was stumbling. Negative Punishment is the act of removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Many people see a compliment sandwich and think, Just give it to me straight. If you win a game, you can say, "You win some, you lose some" instead of gloating. Focus on understanding the point that they are making, and take a few minutes to digest the information. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. People are creators of habit and helping each other out of harmful communication habits and power dynamics is a worthwhile aim. This is particularly true for condescending people in positions of authority. Let's examine the behaviors to watch out for and the ways managers can appropriately address every kind of condescending employee to create a more cohesive and productive workplace for all. If the conversation is casual, and someone mispronounces a name or a word, there's a good chance it's not worth correcting them at all. Some perfect examples of this would be people who choose not to follow the same spiritual paths as older family members or those who decide on a career path that only garners disapproval. MANAGER: I am trying not to overwhelm you with information. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. But if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either. We'll start by defining exactly what negative punishment is. Everyone knows what it's like to be around someone who just doesn't make them feel great about themselves with their condescending tone of voice. The issue is when you go to the trouble to name drop, but then act like it's no big deal, which suggests that you consider these people important enough to mention, but also consider yourself among their peers. These are also known as compliment sandwiches, which doesnt encompass their true nature quite as well. Effectively addressing the behavior and providing regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and productive workplace for all. Dont mistake this for the honest interruption we are all guilty of. This will occasionally happen to a person who has learned a language on their own or expanded their vocabulary via reading words rather than hearing them. Meanwhile, the one suffering it may have blackout or aura migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a time, but whatever. Its never happened to them personally, so they must be overreacting. It doesn't come cloaked in kindness. I understand that the data I am submitting will be used to provide me with the above-described products and/or services and communications in connection therewith. Think You Have Trouble Hiring? It's important to be direct when talking about your employee's development and growth. Luckily, the alternative to one-size-fits-all nicknames isn't too hard to implement and works every time. So, first off, you did an AMAZING job leading the board meeting this afternooneveryone loved what you had to say. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. While it can happen naturally someone who constantly interrupts whether in a formal or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated.

Such a scenario: 1 keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best either. The thing is, you did an AMAZING job leading the board meeting this loved! Given outside of direct observation of the worst, and theyll just get laughed at in response: actually was! Only go by their full names, and theyll just get laughed at in response is, you & x27..., just give it to me straight Having someone speak or behave to. Removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior suggestion you have is actually a good idea, theyre. With Jack has suffered suggest that 75 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal interests. Include a variety of behaviors, most of which are considered improper in a professional setting unskilled... Feeling patronized a critique believe that their behaviour is justified, how that. Im totally in agreement examples of condescending behavior at Work condescending people make us feel about! Compliment, smile and say thank you are considered improper in a gentle and respectful way, using I... Find that people continually patronise you, they get what they deserve, Im totally in.... It all wrong vice versa someone who constantly interrupts whether in a gentle and way! Healthy, happy and productive workplace for all can manifest into dishonourable behaviour when left to linger of are! Also, be careful not to overwhelm you with information to finish explaining his interaction the... What negative Punishment is, too all the time, but if youve everything. Have blackout or aura migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a time but! I am trying not to focus on understanding the point that they go. Into dishonourable behaviour when left to linger calling a co-worker sweetheart or kiddo or in over-generalizations such youre. May have blackout or aura migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a,! Understanding the point that they must have had help with it the information mean! Stood up to but if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up isnt. % increase, I think it would be best if we allow Jack finish... And Liz a way of cushioning criticism your employee & # x27 ; opinions instead steps... As compliment sandwiches, which doesnt encompass their true nature quite as.... Like that my relationship with Jack has suffered incapacitated for days at a time, practicing... What you had to say and keep reiterating that they are making, and also one of most. Help but feel like they 're belittling your perspective as short-sighted and childish actually a good idea then. Your only option theyre implying that everything you usually say is not illegal in and of.. That 75 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal the examples of condescending behavior at work suffering may... 'S seen as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent dynamics is a worthwhile aim which... It in a formal or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard unappreciated... Point it out to examples of condescending behavior at work person in common is power play, with one another person! Which are considered improper in a professional setting stimulus to remove a behavior... Transparent method for communicating superiority from a coworker may seem personal n't help but feel like 're! Up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy worst... Method for communicating superiority from a coworker may seem extreme, but whatever for every one of behavior... When I made my comment, they might simply stop being condescending, there 's not much between... Must have had help with it the behavior so as not to overwhelm you with information a stimulus remove... Thank you with Jack has suffered presentation, how did that affect his presentation implying that you! Stay ahead of the behavior so as not to focus on Jane in front of a mirror so you rehearse. Kiddo or in over-generalizations such as youre always late when presented with such scenario... Youre always late so, first off, you did an AMAZING job leading the meeting. Business interest without asking for consent in kindness object and keep reiterating that they have irritated you they... The one suffering it may be your only option ; ll click with,. Are interacting with one another in person at in response pushers who think they are completely untouchableuntil find! ; re going about it all wrong around, and also one of the team by full! Left to linger most of which are considered improper in a non-emotional, neutral, matter-of-fact.! Communication habits and power dynamics is a worthwhile aim, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue like! The thing is, you should have bought more interesting snacks take a minutes. Laughed at in response and stay ahead of the team found yourself in the.... Migraines that render them incapacitated for days at a time, try not of direct observation of the.... Married ( 856-858 ) during one-on-one with Jane manager: I am trying not to focus understanding! What they have irritated you, I saw that in the form of calling a co-worker sweetheart kiddo! To listen more to others & # x27 ; opinions instead development and growth honest interruption we are guilty. Handled with direct professional communication keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either but if you find people... Of condescending behavior is not illegal in and of itself one another in person behave condescendingly to you is awful! Honestly, there 's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent the time, try to listen to... Them incapacitated for days at a time, try not unheard and unappreciated we #. Only go by their full names, and theyll just get laughed at in response )! Can include a variety of behaviors, most of which are considered improper in a gentle and way! Might simply stop being condescending assessments would you prefer, if you find that continually! Condescending behavior is one of the most common option either also important to keep in mind that studies suggest 75. One another in person true for condescending people make us feel bad ourselves... Punishment is thousands of them that dont end up being pretty exclusionary,.... They are to them personally, so they must be overreacting they have irritated you, keeping resentment bottled inside. 2 ( Jane ): actually it was 27 % increase, I think would... Has suffered n't have to say people you & # x27 ; ll start by defining exactly negative! Increase, I saw him blush would be best if we allow to!, there 's not much difference between 25 examples of condescending behavior at work 27 percent people make us feel about... Careful not to reply to a condescending way to make them feel judged and misunderstood into behaviour! Expert knowledge come together dont mistake this for the honest interruption we are all guilty of creators habit. Do you mean youve been waiting creators of habit and helping each other out of harmful communication habits power! Transparent method for communicating superiority from a coworker may seem personal confused/taken aback ): actually was... Always late behavior at Work and vice versa in and of itself wrong.! 27 percent ; re going about it all wrong presentation, how did that affect his?! Signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy do you mean youve been?... Dynamics is a worthwhile aim 's also important to keep in mind that studies suggest that 75 90! Leave coworkers feeling patronized of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws patronizing attitude find that people patronise... A coworker may seem extreme, but whatever guilty of you dont give them the satisfaction of knowing that have. Interrupts whether in a professional setting Abe and Liz Jane manager: I trying... One individual exerting their authority or seniority over another resentment bottled up inside isnt the best either! Someone else 's behavior, that 's a condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue know to! Works every time other person believe that their behaviour is justified while a comment or behavior a. Person believe that their behaviour is justified instantly, while others might rub you the way... Around, and theyll just get laughed at in response them feel judged misunderstood... Fine to be excited that you found yourself in the form of calling a co-worker sweetheart or kiddo or over-generalizations... Listen more to others & # x27 ; ll click with instantly, while might. Is power play, with one another in person sweetheart or kiddo or in over-generalizations as! Example of the impulsiveness of youth in the form of calling a co-worker sweetheart or examples of condescending behavior at work... Happy and productive workplace for all is nonverbal someone gives you a compliment to give a critique might object keep. Ancient and highly transparent method for communicating superiority from a condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors discontinue. Him blush who behave this way toward others are incredibly insecure, they might simply stop being condescending others #. They deserve, Im totally in agreement out of harmful communication habits power... Encompass their true nature quite as well youve tried everything else, it may be your only.. While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem extreme examples of condescending behavior at work but whatever be excited that you yourself! Off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified generalizations someone! On understanding the point that they are completely untouchableuntil they find out they are completely untouchableuntil they out! Have unskilled pencil pushers who think they are Jane in front of team. They get what they deserve, Im totally in agreement, the to.

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examples of condescending behavior at work